getting by

That's all I'm trying to do. I don't want to think too much about what I have or don't have. I don't want to think about the bills until it's payday. I'm trying to stay focused on the kids and enjoying being home when I'm not at work. It's hard to be at Target all day everyday, seeing all of the things that I'd love to buy for Christmas gifts and the cute clothes, shoes, etc. All the people Christmas shopping. I keep telling myself it's stuff that they don't "need"...I just feel like a failure. No matter what else has happened I've always been able to get by. I've never felt this out of control before. I guess that's what 6 months of being laid off will do. I did get my car back. I've never seen a $700 paycheck come and go so fast. I wish I could get all of this stress behind me. Trying to get caught up during Christmas sucks and the kid's birthdays all within 2 weeks of Christmas. bah humbug.

Okay, enough of that non-sense. I said I was trying not to think about it too much, damn.
Chance is going through the newspaper cutting out pictures of things he likes and things he wants to buy for his family. He's so cute and sweet. I told him Santa requested coffee instead of milk, lmao !!

I am hoping to get the tree up soon, make it feel more festive around here. I think it may actually SNOW this year. How cool would that be ?!

Gas is $1.87 a gallon. It's awesome but I'm wondering when the other shoe is going to drop and it jumps back up to $3.00+

I'm going out next Saturday night. My first show. I guess I should have asked if I have to pay to get in and how much. Shit. I asked off Sunday morning so I have to work Sunday night then 4am Monday morning at Target....why does everything I type turn gloomy ?

After I run out of the laundry detergent I bought during triple coupons I am going to try making my own. I've been told you can make a month's worth for $1.00 !

I'm barely keeping in touch with anyone lately. It seems though that the people I have left in my life are the kind that you don't talk to for weeks at a time but, you know they are there and they care about you. That's a good feeling. I just hope they know I am thinking of them and miss them dearly.....Do you ? Huh ? hehe.

I don't know what else to talk about.

I cleaned the girls' room on Tuesday. Top to bottom, took out tons of old babyish toys that they never play with and put them in two big bags to donate. I moved their furniture around, decorated the walls with some "princess" wall stickers from the Dollar Tree, dusted, vacuumed, scrubbed, etc. Got home from work today and the room as torn apart. *sigh* They got into the closets and drawers while my brother was "watching" them. I didn't feel like dealing with it. Chance picked up most of the stuff for me. When I put them in for a nap he and I watched a movie and looked through the sale ads together. He helps so much with them sometimes I feel bad asking him to do anything for me. He's only six for goodness sake.

OMG! I almost forget to mention this. I was at Target this morning at 4 am. Two hours before the store opened. I was hoping to avoid any of the chaos since my tasks all took place off the sales floor. At about five minutes to six I had to put a few missing signs out. I was in the toy dept. when they opened the doors and saw people RUNNING to the toy/electronics dept. I couldn't BELIEVE that anyone would need any toy or device bad enough to RUN into a store at 6am. It was a sight, let me tell ya.

The girls are into all things princess *barf* I think Olivia is really into it and Sophia just goes along with her. Sophia is more into her stuffed animals and stuff like that. The problem is since Chance was not into princess movies I only have one. Cinderella. I bought it over a year ago when it was "out of the vault for a limited time". They have watched it (in my mind) 5000 times. I am desperate to acquire another princess movie, lol. My brother rented Tinkerbell for them but it just couldn't hold up to Cinderella *rolls eyes* Did I mention I was hoping for another boy ? *smacks hand*.....LOVE my little Princesses ! *GRIN*

I just explained "the Clapper" to Chance and he wants to ask Santa for one. He's stoked, lmao.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving !

I am thankful for the health and happiness of my three wonderful kids.