That's all I'm trying to do. I don't want to think too much about what I have or don't have. I don't want to think about the bills until it's payday. I'm trying to stay focused on the kids and enjoying being home when I'm not at work. It's hard to be at Target all day everyday, seeing all of the things that I'd love to buy for Christmas gifts and the cute clothes, shoes, etc. All the people Christmas shopping. I keep telling myself it's stuff that they don't "need"...I just feel like a failure. No matter what else has happened I've always been able to get by. I've never felt this out of control before. I guess that's what 6 months of being laid off will do. I did get my car back. I've never seen a $700 paycheck come and go so fast. I wish I could get all of this stress behind me. Trying to get caught up during Christmas sucks and the kid's birthdays all within 2 weeks of Christmas. bah humbug.
Okay, enough of that non-sense. I said I was trying not to think about it too much, damn.
Chance is going through the newspaper cutting out pictures of things he likes and things he wants to buy for his family. He's so cute and sweet. I told him Santa requested coffee instead of milk, lmao !!
I am hoping to get the tree up soon, make it feel more festive around here. I think it may actually SNOW this year. How cool would that be ?!
Gas is $1.87 a gallon. It's awesome but I'm wondering when the other shoe is going to drop and it jumps back up to $3.00+
I'm going out next Saturday night. My first show. I guess I should have asked if I have to pay to get in and how much. Shit. I asked off Sunday morning so I have to work Sunday night then 4am Monday morning at Target....why does everything I type turn gloomy ?
After I run out of the laundry detergent I bought during triple coupons I am going to try making my own. I've been told you can make a month's worth for $1.00 !
I'm barely keeping in touch with anyone lately. It seems though that the people I have left in my life are the kind that you don't talk to for weeks at a time but, you know they are there and they care about you. That's a good feeling. I just hope they know I am thinking of them and miss them dearly.....Do you ? Huh ? hehe.
I don't know what else to talk about.
I cleaned the girls' room on Tuesday. Top to bottom, took out tons of old babyish toys that they never play with and put them in two big bags to donate. I moved their furniture around, decorated the walls with some "princess" wall stickers from the Dollar Tree, dusted, vacuumed, scrubbed, etc. Got home from work today and the room as torn apart. *sigh* They got into the closets and drawers while my brother was "watching" them. I didn't feel like dealing with it. Chance picked up most of the stuff for me. When I put them in for a nap he and I watched a movie and looked through the sale ads together. He helps so much with them sometimes I feel bad asking him to do anything for me. He's only six for goodness sake.
OMG! I almost forget to mention this. I was at Target this morning at 4 am. Two hours before the store opened. I was hoping to avoid any of the chaos since my tasks all took place off the sales floor. At about five minutes to six I had to put a few missing signs out. I was in the toy dept. when they opened the doors and saw people RUNNING to the toy/electronics dept. I couldn't BELIEVE that anyone would need any toy or device bad enough to RUN into a store at 6am. It was a sight, let me tell ya.
The girls are into all things princess *barf* I think Olivia is really into it and Sophia just goes along with her. Sophia is more into her stuffed animals and stuff like that. The problem is since Chance was not into princess movies I only have one. Cinderella. I bought it over a year ago when it was "out of the vault for a limited time". They have watched it (in my mind) 5000 times. I am desperate to acquire another princess movie, lol. My brother rented Tinkerbell for them but it just couldn't hold up to Cinderella *rolls eyes* Did I mention I was hoping for another boy ? *smacks hand*.....LOVE my little Princesses ! *GRIN*
I just explained "the Clapper" to Chance and he wants to ask Santa for one. He's stoked, lmao.
I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving !
I am thankful for the health and happiness of my three wonderful kids.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
so yeah....
My car was repoed on Wednesday night. I didn't find out until I walked outside at 3:30 in the morning on Thursday. The events following were a fiasco. I had no notice so I was distraught to say the least. I thought my car had been stolen. I've never had anything like this happen before. blah.
The thing is I make enough money now to cover all of my bills. I fell behind because of a series of unfortunate events. Things that probably could have been avoided. I guess I need to turn in my Supermommy cape. *rolls eyes*
The company that holds my lien was super-cool when I talked to them today. Gave me a great deal of sympathy and help that I didn't expect. I still won't have the money until I get paid on the 21st so I'm not sure what I'm going to do for transportation. I hate feeling helpless.
So all in all, after dealing with the initial shock and awe I think I'm dealing with it pretty well. I just feel like it's not going to solve anything if I worry and beat myself up. I had the choice between paying a car payment or rent payment on Friday and I chose rent because my mom was hounding me and really needed it.
I don't know what happened yesterday though. I feel like the universe was totally against me. The car thing, shitty day at work, Chance's laptop crashed and I woke up after 2 hours sleep with a wicked toothache.
Now that I think about it yesterday was just a continuation of a pretty horrible week (see previous blog)
I think Christmas is going to be a bust this year. I can't afford to get anything I want for the kids. Their birthdays being 3 days and 2 weeks after Christmas makes it even harder.
Oh, I solved the problem with being short of hours at Target. I am taking three cashier shifts so bring me to 40 hours. I've been working 55-65 hours consistently for what...four weeks now ? I wonder when it will start adding up *shrug*
Okay, I've got to get these girls in bed. They are shredding my patience with the high pitched screeching. I work at 7-3 all weekend and I have to get a my mom to give me a ride tomorrow. Fun stuff.
The thing is I make enough money now to cover all of my bills. I fell behind because of a series of unfortunate events. Things that probably could have been avoided. I guess I need to turn in my Supermommy cape. *rolls eyes*
The company that holds my lien was super-cool when I talked to them today. Gave me a great deal of sympathy and help that I didn't expect. I still won't have the money until I get paid on the 21st so I'm not sure what I'm going to do for transportation. I hate feeling helpless.
So all in all, after dealing with the initial shock and awe I think I'm dealing with it pretty well. I just feel like it's not going to solve anything if I worry and beat myself up. I had the choice between paying a car payment or rent payment on Friday and I chose rent because my mom was hounding me and really needed it.
I don't know what happened yesterday though. I feel like the universe was totally against me. The car thing, shitty day at work, Chance's laptop crashed and I woke up after 2 hours sleep with a wicked toothache.
Now that I think about it yesterday was just a continuation of a pretty horrible week (see previous blog)
I think Christmas is going to be a bust this year. I can't afford to get anything I want for the kids. Their birthdays being 3 days and 2 weeks after Christmas makes it even harder.
Oh, I solved the problem with being short of hours at Target. I am taking three cashier shifts so bring me to 40 hours. I've been working 55-65 hours consistently for what...four weeks now ? I wonder when it will start adding up *shrug*
Okay, I've got to get these girls in bed. They are shredding my patience with the high pitched screeching. I work at 7-3 all weekend and I have to get a my mom to give me a ride tomorrow. Fun stuff.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Milestones
wow, it has been 10 days since I last blogged. I have done nothing but sleep (very little), work (very hard) and be a mommy (ahhhhh). I never even had time to sign up for NaNoWriMo, sorry Joelie :( But ! Enough about that......
I am happy to report that my girls have hit two milestones this week *drum roll*
#1) On Monday afternoon I returned home from work to find that Miss Sophia had trimmed her on bangs. If that is not horrifying enough how about the fact that out of the three people home with her - my Dad, brother and son - NONE of them knew that she had done it or that she had access to scissors. Free childcare at it's best.
#2) This very afternoon I returned home from work to find that while the SAME 3 people were home with the girls they took all of the bins from their toy storage shelf, stacked them together and used them as a step stool to climb up and reach the small closet that I stored their crayons and coloring books. Took out the crayons and proceed to scribble all over their freshly painted Sunshine Yellow bedroom walls, the floor, bed rails, bookshelf, etc, etc. Not only did my brother not know what had happened when I got home but Chance who did know what they had done didn't even take the crayons away ! Ugh.
Well, the Magic Eraser did the trick. I'm not finished though. I haven't been getting much of anything done around here lately. I've been washing clothes but not folding and putting them away. I have about 4 loads sitting in my living room calling my name. After I made the girls help clean part of the wall I fed them lunch and took them outside to play. There just aren't enough hours in the day to be a good housekeeper, mommy, cook, playmate, etc. and work a full time and part time job.
I had a nice conversation with a lady at work today about my kids. People just assume that I am divorced or whatever. We started talking while we were working and I told her that I had my kids using a donor and all that. She thought it was super cool and that I am brave women, lol. Most women think it's a great thing and ask tons of questions, most men hate the idea. hehe, I wonder why.
okay, off to put my ducks in a row so I can get the girls to bed early and then myself :) Chance went to dinner with Grandma and Grandpa and I am taking advantage. Hopefully if all goes well I will get an extra hours sleep.
Later !! XOXO
I am happy to report that my girls have hit two milestones this week *drum roll*
#1) On Monday afternoon I returned home from work to find that Miss Sophia had trimmed her on bangs. If that is not horrifying enough how about the fact that out of the three people home with her - my Dad, brother and son - NONE of them knew that she had done it or that she had access to scissors. Free childcare at it's best.
#2) This very afternoon I returned home from work to find that while the SAME 3 people were home with the girls they took all of the bins from their toy storage shelf, stacked them together and used them as a step stool to climb up and reach the small closet that I stored their crayons and coloring books. Took out the crayons and proceed to scribble all over their freshly painted Sunshine Yellow bedroom walls, the floor, bed rails, bookshelf, etc, etc. Not only did my brother not know what had happened when I got home but Chance who did know what they had done didn't even take the crayons away ! Ugh.
Well, the Magic Eraser did the trick. I'm not finished though. I haven't been getting much of anything done around here lately. I've been washing clothes but not folding and putting them away. I have about 4 loads sitting in my living room calling my name. After I made the girls help clean part of the wall I fed them lunch and took them outside to play. There just aren't enough hours in the day to be a good housekeeper, mommy, cook, playmate, etc. and work a full time and part time job.
I had a nice conversation with a lady at work today about my kids. People just assume that I am divorced or whatever. We started talking while we were working and I told her that I had my kids using a donor and all that. She thought it was super cool and that I am brave women, lol. Most women think it's a great thing and ask tons of questions, most men hate the idea. hehe, I wonder why.
okay, off to put my ducks in a row so I can get the girls to bed early and then myself :) Chance went to dinner with Grandma and Grandpa and I am taking advantage. Hopefully if all goes well I will get an extra hours sleep.
Later !! XOXO
Sunday, November 2, 2008
can't talk now.....
folks, I have just wrapped up a very long weekend. I worked 7-3 Saturday morning, 12am-8:30am Saturday night/Sunday morning then 9am-2pm Sunday afternoon and I have to sleep now so I can get up and be back at Target at 10 pm. Thank GOD when I get off at 8:30 tomorrow morning I don't have anywhere else to go except home. On the other hand there is SO much to do here I may go nuts.....nah, I'm chillin' for the day. It'll wait. I'll be back soon.....
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